Anna Hedonia
Anhedonia - inability to feel pleasure in normally pleasurable activities. Occurs frequently with depression
Anna Hedonia
Sits in her corner
Watching the world go by
Sits in her corner,
Tears in her eyes
At the moment, just wanting to die.
Anna Hedonia
Feels so alone
Wanting to hide the depression
Not able to fight,
Watching the fall,
Feeling no compassion
She tries smiling at people
Talks when she must
She is so disconnected inside
A clown mask in front
Despair right behind
No matter how hard she has tried
She knows she wants something
If people just knew
She wants them to reach to her pain
Say No wonder, how awful
Look what you've gone through
No further need to explain
Why, I couldn't do it.
I'd never survive No one could expect you to live
The world is as grey
As you see through your eyes
Life has no more to give
No one would blame
Anna Hedonia
For giving up on life
All that has happened -
It just isn't fair
None of it is right
But after she speaks
She is left with only one thought
And others agree
Okay, and then what?
The words she keeps hearing
Give her the light she has sought
I'm tired of depression
Anna cries out
Most of all, I really miss me!
I miss the spark
That once I had
The colours I no longer see
So Anna Hedonia
Makes just one step
And then she makes one more
No giant leap
But still, a start
Ahead, she sees a door
When she opens it
She sees some light
And watches her body move
Counting each step
Forward, each step
The heaviness starts to improve
A little lightness
In her heart
Anna takes a breath
New colours start to
Fill the space
No longer the blackness of death
Anna Hedonia
Has been to a place
More frightening than ever before
A depression
She thought would kill her
But now she is asking for more
More compassion, more movement
More light and more song
More writing, seeing what's there
Less fighting, less anger
Less drowning in fear
Walking away from despair
Permission to care
Permission to rest
To grieve all she has lost
Looking ahead
To the life that remains
Not back at years covered in dust
Anna Hedonia
Has heard the question
Okay, and then what?
What if I'm scared?
Overwhelmed, depressed
What if it happens again?
Anna Hedonia,
Don't be afraid
Even if it happens again
You are far stronger
Than you think you are
You will survive any pain
Just put one foot In front of the other
Know you will keep choosing life
Death holds no answers
For you, dear Anna
Anna, be brave, choose life!